Sex, Drugs, and Quote Puffs

jerky puffsI already mentioned Chuck Klosterman’s Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs in a prior blog post, but I did want to run through and pull out some of my most favorite quotes from the book, because it is particularly quotable. Presented without context, because context is for losers and it wouldn’t help most of these anyway.

“…and I hope Coldplay gets fucking dropped by fucking EMI and ends up like the Stone fucking Roses, who were actually a better band, all things considered.”

“Computers make children advance faster, but it also makes them think like computers.”

“Whenever I see repeat episodes of [Real World 3], I find myself deconstructing every casual conversation Judd and Pam have, because I know a secret they don’t—eighteen months later, they will have sex. It’s sort of like seeing old Judas Priest videos on VH1 Classic and looking for signs of Rob Halford’s homosexuality.”

“You know how historians call people who came of age during World War II ‘the greatest generation’? No one will ever say that about us. We’ll be ‘the cool generation.’ That’s all we’re good at…”

“Had Bruce [Springsteen] written “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” people would be playing it at weddings.”

“Marilyn Monroe was the perfect vessel for an age where it was wrong to want wild, easy sex; [Pamela Anderson] is the perfect vessel in an age where not wanting wild, easy sex makes you a puritanical, born-again weirdo.”

“What’s interesting about this evolution is that the value of a movie like Star Wars was vastly underrated at the time of its release and is now vastly overrated in retrospect.”

“Viewed objectively, R2-D2 is like a dwarf holding a Simon.”

“Producers want to develop movies they can refer to as “high concept,” which—somewhat ironically—is industry slang for “no concept”: It describes a movie where the human element is secondary to an episodic collection of action sequences.”

“Quite simply, [page designers] are trying to create a newspaper that can be appreciated by the illiterate.”